November. The month of fireworks, falling leaves, dark evenings and the annual appearance of Christmas decorations that really ought to wait until December!
But here at Happy Drains, we’d like to introduce a new seasonal tradition.
NO-vember!
Thirty glorious days of saying NO to things that have absolutely no business going down your toilet.
Because while your loo might look like a convenient portal to another dimension, it isn’t a magical disposal system.
Just because something disappears with a satisfying WHOOSH doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.
Sometimes it’s simply travelled a few feet down the pipe and decided to stay.
And that’s when the trouble starts.
So, in the spirit of NO-vember, here are eight things your toilet would really rather you kept to yourself.
1. Wet Wipes – The Great Flushable Fib
Ah, wet wipes.
Convenient, useful and occasionally described as ‘flushable’.
Unfortunately, being able to flush something and being able to flush it safely are two very different things.
Unlike toilet paper, many wet wipes don’t readily break apart in water. Instead, they can snag on pipework, collect other debris and contribute to some spectacularly unpleasant blockages.
Happy Drains verdict: NO! Keep a little bathroom bin handy and pop them in there instead.
2. Kitchen Roll and Tissues – Paper Imposters
They’re made of paper. Toilet paper is made of paper.
Surely they’re basically the same thing?
Not quite.
Kitchen roll is designed to stay strong when wet. Excellent when you’re mopping up a spilt cup of tea. Not so excellent when it’s travelling through your drainage system.
Facial tissues can also take longer to break apart than toilet paper.
Happy Drains verdict: NO! Toilet paper belongs in the toilet. Other paper products belong in the bin.
3. Cotton Buds, Cotton Pads and Sanitary Products
They’re small, they’re discreet and they’re often used in the bathroom.
But that doesn’t mean they’re invited into the plumbing.
Cotton buds, make-up pads, tampons and sanitary towels can become trapped inside pipes or accumulate with other waste.
And sanitary products are specifically designed to absorb moisture.
Which is rather unfortunate when you send them into a pipe full of water.
Happy Drains verdict: NO! The bathroom bin is their proper destination.
4. Dental Floss – A String of Bad Decisions
Dental floss is tiny.
What possible harm could a little piece of string do?
Quite a bit, actually.
Floss doesn’t dissolve in water and can become tangled with other debris, helping to create stubborn obstructions.
It’s rather like sending a miniature fishing line into your drainage system.
Except you really don’t want to know what it might catch.
Happy Drains verdict: NO! Floss your teeth, not your drains.
5. Nappies – A Flush of Pure Optimism
We admire confidence.
We really do.
But anyone who looks at a used nappy and thinks, ‘I reckon that’ll flush,’ is displaying a level of optimism rarely seen outside a lottery advert.
Nappies are designed to absorb liquid and swell.
Put one in a toilet and you’ve introduced a large, expanding object into a relatively narrow pipe.
What could possibly go wrong?
Quite a lot, as it happens.
Happy Drains verdict: ABSOLUTELY NO! Bag it and bin it appropriately. Don’t even consider testing whether it’ll fit.
6. Leftover Food – Your Toilet Isn’t a Waste Disposal Unit
That last spoonful of porridge.
A few unwanted baked beans.
The remains of a suspicious-looking casserole from Tuesday.
It’s tempting to tip them down the loo and let the plumbing take care of the evidence.
But food scraps can contribute to blockages, particularly when they combine with other debris.
And your toilet is not a substitute for a kitchen waste bin.
No matter how disappointing Tuesday’s casserole was.
Happy Drains verdict: NO! Use your food waste collection or dispose of scraps appropriately.
7. Cat Litter and Pet Waste – Don’t Pass the Parcel
Some cat litter products are marketed as flushable.
But many types of litter absorb water, swell or clump together.
Which is wonderful when you’re cleaning out a litter tray.
Less wonderful when it’s happening inside a drainpipe.
Pet waste can also introduce pathogens into wastewater systems, so it’s best to follow local disposal guidance rather than treating the toilet as a universal pet-cleaning solution.
Happy Drains verdict: NO! Keep litter out of the loo and follow your local council’s advice for disposing of pet waste.
And perhaps have a quiet word with the cat about contributing to household chores.
8. Medicines and Chemicals – Definitely Not Down There!
Found a packet of out-of-date tablets lurking at the back of the bathroom cabinet?
Or half a bottle of something you bought to clean the shower in 2019?
Please don’t pour or flush them away.
Medicines and household chemicals can enter wastewater systems and potentially harm the environment.
Your toilet is designed to deal with certain biological necessities.
It is not a miniature chemical disposal plant.
Happy Drains verdict: NO! Return unwanted medicines to a pharmacy and follow local guidance for disposing of household chemicals.
The Three Ps – Your Toilet’s Very Short Guest List
If all this seems rather complicated, don’t worry.
There’s one wonderfully simple rule that covers almost everything.
Only flush the three Ps:
Pee. Poo. Paper.
And by paper, we mean ordinary toilet paper.
That’s it.
No wipes. No cotton buds. No kitchen roll. No dental floss. No leftovers from Sunday lunch.
Your toilet has a very specific job description.
And frankly, it’s already doing quite enough.
Make November a NO-vember!
We’re not suggesting you spend the entire month standing guard over the bathroom door, interrogating family members about their flushing habits.
Although that would certainly make for an interesting household meeting.
Just a few small changes can make a big difference.
Keep a bathroom bin handy, teach the kids the three P’s and remember that out of sight doesn’t always mean out of trouble.
Because what disappears down the toilet today could come back to haunt you tomorrow.
Usually at the least convenient moment imaginable.
And if your sinks gurgle, back up, or smell like something has gone terribly wrong underground, Happy Drains is here to help.
Call 07824 757572 / 0800 849 8099
This November, say NO to bad flushing habits and YES to happy, free-flowing drains!
Happy NO-vember from all of us at Happy Drains!
Best,
David & Will